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Husband & Wife had a Fight.
Wife called Mom : He fought with me again, I am coming to home.
Mom : No Dear, he must pay for his mistake,
I am comming to stay with you at your home.



 
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Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.
Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.
Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second


 
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When husband breaks a glass.
Wife: Break everything. Break all these bottles... break the kitchen... break the house... just break everything!
And when wife breaks a glass.
Wife: Who kept this glass here?.



 
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Husband sent an sms to wife:
thanks for making my life wonderful and being a part of my life. What ever
i am is only because of u, u r my angel thanks for coming in my life and making
it worth living. You're great.
She replied that sms: pee li na ? Ab chup chap ghar aa jao.. Daro mat..
Kuchh nahi bolungi..! !Husband: thank you.


 
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Women are like Fruits...
Every one has its unique colour, shape, aroma and taste....
Problem is with men...!
They want
FRUIT SALAD..!!


 
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Real Astronomers are in our family,
1st Mother who showed the moon in childhood.
2nd papa - who used to show the whole universe in just 1 slap.
Third wife - who shows stars during the day. This NASA is just confusion.



 
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Definition of Honeymoon:
a man's last holiday
before he starts working
for a new boss !!



 
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A Man Lost his Wife In Sunami
One Drunk-Night ..
while standing on the Seashore, waves touching on his feets .
He shouted to the Sea: 'No matter how many times your Waves Touch my Feet
.
.
.
I'll Never take her back .. !!
Its your mistake..
Deal With It Now...



 
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Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?
New Recruit: Call for backup!


 
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A big-city resident was spending his vacation in a small town in the country. Chatting with a local in the coffee shop, he asked, "Do you know any big people who were born here?"
The villager scratched his head and then said, "No, sir. Only tiny babies are born here."


 
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A man talking to God:

The man: God, how long is a million years?
God: To me, it's about a minute
The man: God, how much is a million dollars?
God: To me it's a penny.
The man: God, may I have a penny?
God: Wait a minute.
 
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A blonde decided to paint a room. When her husband got home, he asked, "Why are you wearing an Alaskan and a winter coat?" She replied, "The can said for best results apply 2 coats."
 
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I'll call you later!
-
Please don't do that. I've always asked you to call me Dad!



 
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Mommy, why are all the cars beeping their horns?

Because there's a wedding going on.

But isn't the horn a warning signal, Mommy?

Exactly, son.


 
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My wife told me she needs more space. I said no problem and locked her out of
the house.




 
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Fainted Before.?

Doctor: Have you fainted ever before.
Patient: Yes, the last time you told me your fees.
 
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Wife: Honey, if I die would you get married again?

Husband: No dear.

Wife: I'm sure you would.

Annoyed husband: Okay, I would.

Wife: Would you let her sleep in our bed?

Husband: Ya, I guess so.

Wife: Would you let her wear my clothes.

Husband: No, she is taller than you.
 
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Boss: 'We Are Very Keen On Cleanliness. Did You Wipe Your Feets On The Mat As You Came In?

New Employee: Yes, Sir

Boss: We Are Also Keen On Truthfulness. There Is No Mat
 
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One Day A Girls College Was Told They Had To Write A Short Essay In One Sentence.

The Short Essay Had To Contain The Following Three Things:

1. Religion
2. Sexuality
3. Mystery

Here Is The Only A+ Essay In The Entire College By A Girl That You Can't Imagine,

'Oh God, I Am Pregnant, I Wonder Who Did It.
 
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Alcohol Is The Really A Worst Thing In The World

A Friend Drank A Lot Last Night And Ended Up Saying 'I Love You'

To His Own Wife

Can You Imagine That?
 
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