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CIA: why criminals leave their fingerprints after doing their work?
Recruit: Sir, I Think they are illiterate, if they were literate, they would leave their signature for u.

 
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Undying Love?
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
 
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ABCD.....
A - U r Attractive
B - U r the Best
C - U r Cute
D - U r Dear 2 Me
E - U r Excellent
F - U r Funny
G - U r Good-Looking
H - hehehe
I - I'm
J - JOKING
 
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Surprised Long Drive
GIRL: Where are you taking me?
BOY: Long Drive!
GIRL: Wow... why didn't you tell me first?
BOY: Even I don't know that.
GIRL: How?
Boy: Bike Breaks are not working.
 
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Entrance Exam

Hi friends i got some funny sms i want to share with you Read & Enjoy it

1) Tortoise n Rabbit wrote entrance exam n tortoise got 80% n rabbit got 81%. Both wanted admission in a good Engineering college, cut off was 85%. Rabbit didn't get but tortoise got the admission even with 80%any guess as how?
?

?

?
U remember when we were in 1st standard tortoise won a race ......
Got the seat in sports quota.
 
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Car Driving Course
I saw an advertisement for a school that claimed it could teach anyone to drive a car in five minutes or less. I called them up and asked "How can you teach anyone to drive in five minutes or less?"
They answered "It's a crash course."
 
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Regular naps prevent old age, especially if
you take them while driving.
 
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Lion!!!
In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.

The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.

The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment,a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.

On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.

The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas.

Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.

The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him,
'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management? What nonsense is this? Why are you delivering bananas
to me?'

The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ... did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!

*Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!!!!*
 
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TC to Sadhu :- Where you want to go ?
Sadhu :- Want to go to place where lord Rama born...

TC :- You have ticket ?
Sadhu :- No !

TC :- Ok come with me !
Sadhu :- Where ?
TC :- to the place whereLord Krishn was Born !!!
 
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Modern Wife
Husband to Wife - You will never succeed
in making that dog obey you.

Wife: Nonsense it's only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with you at first.
 
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MOST DANGEROUS ALPHABET

WHICH IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ALPHABET OF ALL?

" W "!!

B'COZ ALL WORIES START WITH "W"

WHO?
WHY?
WHAT?
WHEN?
WHICH?
WHOM?
WHERE?
WAR!
AND FINALLY

Woman and WIFE....!
 
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A teenage gal chatting
A teenage gal was chatting on fb
wid a stranger

Stranger: hey pretty! Cud u gimme ur MSN?

Gal: oh yes sure :)
its - iHaveaBoyFriendAndiLoveHimAlot@getlost.com

Stranger: and mine is iAmYourFather@uaredead.com
 
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Power of Computer
The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted.

His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.

"My love, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"

"It was terrible," her husband said, "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."
 
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Lifty In Emergency
The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up the clerk on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that he should hurry with the file. After more than 30 minutes the clerk appears all tired and panting for breath. The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay.
The clerk replies,'Boss when I went to the lift it said 'during an emergency please use the staircase'!!!
 
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Colleting Moths
A little boy walked up to the librarian to check out a book entitled `COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR MOTHERS.' When the librarian asked him if it was for his mother, he answered "No".
Then why are you checking it out?"Because",said the boy,beaming from ear to ear,.."I just started collecting moths last month!".

 
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What do you get when you play country music backwards?
You get back your wife, your dog, your truck...
 
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Human brain is the most outstanding object in world. Itfunctions 24hrs a day, 365days a year. It functions right fromthe time we are born, and stop only when we enter the examinationhall.

 
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Special offer..
Bring a chit on exam day,
scratch and show it to your nearest teacher and
win free trip to Principal's office and enjoy 3 years vacation at home.
Hurry offer valid until exams only..
 
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HEIGHT of COOLNES: Finishing the paper, coming out of the exam hall, having a Cold Drink & asking ur friend: "Dude, which paper was it?"
 
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Saints and Students
Long Back,
People Who Sacrificed Their Sleep,
Food, Laughter N Forgot
Their Family Were Called Saints.

But Now They are Called
"Students"
 
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